The following came from an anonymous father in New Jersey. For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
Things I've learned from my children (honest & no kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 1500 sq. ft. house four inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
6. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
7. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
8. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
9. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old child.
10. Play dough and microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
11. Super glue is forever.
12. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
13. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
14. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
15. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
16. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
17. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. The fire department in Allentown, NJ has a 5-minute response time.
18. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
19. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
20. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
Thanks,
Harry Gribnitz
Your Home Loan Specialist for Life!
PS: 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
PSS: Thank you for continuing to refer friends, relatives or co-workers who might need my help to purchase or refinance their home.
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